Do I have permission to speak freely? Thanks.
About 8am yesterday I put on my phone. It rang almost immediately. I answered and heard the voice of a gentleman requesting a massage. I asked when he wanted to have the massage. Around 11 o’clock, he said. It told him that was workable, then I backed up a bit and introduced myself and requested his name. Mr. A. What is your location Mr. A? El Socorro. Okay. Is it convenient for me to come to your place? He paused. Yes, if you want. I told him my visit may not be necessary if he could come to my place. Where are you? I’m over on the Saddle Road. He said he would come. Fine. With that being out of the way, Mr. A stated that he wanted a full-body massage. My antennas went up. What exactly do you expect of a full-body massage, Sir? A massage, like from the shoulders to the toes. Very well Sir.
So, aaammmm, you does do private parts too? Do you have private parts Sir? Well yes. I’ve never encountered such so you may need to describe them to me. Like my cock I mean. You does massage the cock too? I have no idea what that is Sir. I am looking at a chart of the Human Anatomy as we speak and I see no such word on it. You don’t know what a cock is? Prick then. My prick. You’ll do my prick? Sorry Sir, I don’t see that word either. I’m going to hang up now. Do have a good day. No! Wait! Yes? You does do sex with the massage? Mr. A if you look at the alphabet you’ll see that M and S do not lie side by side or atop each other. I would suggest that you call someone else and see if they would be willing to do your massage as you have parts that I have never worked with and I am not sure I want to start now. No! I want you to do it. I want you to do the massage. I am leaving you now Sir. Wait! Goodbye Sir. I hung up the phone.
He called back. I ignored the call. He called again. I turned the phone off. About an hour later when I put the phone on, the calls came again. I put it in silent mode. After nine missed calls he stopped, leaving a voice message. I listened to it. All I want to know is if you do sex because I want a strange person to have some hard sex with. I deleted the message. Maybe this would have been a good session to record and play on the first day of each new Massage class. After the students would have listened, I would ask: Do you still wish to pursue Massage as a career?
While this is not an everyday occurrence, it does happen often enough. Maybe Mr. A is generally a very upstanding citizen, but he awoke yesterday morning with an intense sexual urge and has no spouse with whom to share the moment. Maybe he does have a spouse, but one with whom he cannot share his fantasies. Maybe he even feels guilty about what he wants, so hiding behind a telephone allows him to express himself, and maybe if I had agreed to do a massage he may have been choking on all the words that he cannot say to my face. And he may well be a sample of the many persons who have a good massage, but it does not fulfill their fantasy, so they seek to embarrass the Therapist by saying hurtful things about them to others as he might have felt rejected and the anger at not getting what he wanted would require some form of outlet.
If Mr. A is a religious man (the name he has identifies him with such), he is clearing missing the concept that we are all one, so much so that his sense of separateness allows him to think that he could love one person and hurt another, which blinds him to the truth that he is doing it all to himself. Even if the Gods did not have a sense of humour, the way we play Hide-and-Seek to have our taboo desires met by the hooks or the crooks, will definitely make Them laugh. It’s like that smile that emerges on our face when we know we are being lied to, but the person telling the lie does not know that we know the truth of the story. We all have motives that we don’t care to share, but even the most secret thought comes to light because our actions eventually reflect them. It is why honesty is the best policy. We need to be honest with ourselves. Why am I doing this? Why am I saying this? What do I hope to gain? Who do I need to manipulate to get what I want?
We do what we do quite often because of the perceived outcome/benefit. Before he called me, sex was his intention, but it apparently did not seem proper to say that outright, so the ruse of needing a massage was used. My willingness to do a massage made him feel he had a foot in the door, so he became comfortable enough to talk about the next step leading up to his true intentions; a genital massage. My failure to recognize ‘private parts’ led to him being crass in is description which appropriately reflected the manner in which he intended to have a sexual experience. I felt a bit of sadness for him, as the whole escapade made me wonder what deep dark things is he tortured by that would make him want to hold such a beautiful creation as a woman and impose his sexuality on her in a brutal way.
This morning I was marking assignments when I decided to write about him. As I was doing such, he called. I told him I was writing about him. Uh-huh? Yes, I’m writing about my experience with you, and if I may, I would suggest that you try working out your fantasies with your spouse. A woman is to be loved, not abused, so you need to try to resolve the troubles in your life in a way that does not bring hurt to her as she is there to comfort you and you’ll always be looking outside for comfort if you keep undermining your nesting place. That’s all you have to say? Yes Sir. Alright then. He hung up. A few minutes after he called again. How may I help you Sir? I want to apologise, he said. All you had to do was tell me from the start that you don’t provide sex. Really? As I recall, your call was not about sex. You said you wanted a massage and when I agreed, you then suggested something else, then further left a message about sex on my phone. From where I stand, sex was your original intention and you were not honest enough to tell me that upfront, so how could I have told you upfront that what you wanted was not what I offered? Right. You’re right. I admit. I’m sorry and you won’t be hearing from me again. I appreciate that.
Well, I guess it was not so bad after all. The journey of the Massage Therapist is many things, but boring is certainly not one of them
How are you doing today? Hope all is well with you. I think that you are so right. Perhaps you should have kept the message and play it at the beginning of your new classes. Its real, it’s blunt and it’s to the point because a lot of people believe that massage is about sex or people who offer massage usually offer sex on the side. Massage therapy is something that always gets put as something seedy and underhand to other things; something to be hidden and kept on the down low because it ‘may have unscrupulous aspects’.
I remember one time I called about a job that was offering training in massage and employment and as soon as the person started asking about my weight, bra size, skin colour and ‘shape’ I knew where the conversation was going. I remember coming off the phone thinking ‘ well this massage thing is a cover for an escort service!’ and that is putting it lightly!
You are so right, massage therapists hardly ever get the respect that the profession calls for and then not only that, it also makes you have to constantly be open to criticism because of your standards. If it’s not about the sexual aspect of it, it’s not what the client expected and they don’t recommend you because of their own tainted view and perception about how you should do your job.
I think that you were right to write about him and that experience. I think you’re right when you share it because how many of us students are in it for money? How many of us are in it just for the fun of it? Or what about the others who are in it just for the personal growth and experience? Or those of us who are in it to become entrepreneurs? It’s realistic. It’s to the point and an experience that needed to be shared. Thank you for doing that. It also allows us insight into possible elegant ways of declining such offers.
HAVE a great day!!!