Someone sent me a text message late Friday night remarking about the full moon. I did not see it. I was preoccupied working on a project and completely forgot that we were supposed to be moonlighting. On Saturday a student asked if I saw the full moon. No. She said it was a ‘strong’ one. One of the events she attributed to the day was a call from out of the blue with such terrible news that she said she felt like she was suddenly dropped into a deep black hole and it took about an hour to calm herself and refocus. Lucky for her. Some people get stuck in such moment for much longer. Cluck, cluck! Superstition. Or is it? Every atom of our body is light, we are therefore affected by any form of light, whether or not we are aware. The moon’s reflection of the sun is no exception. But, in acknowledging that we are responsive to the moon means we know that we are all lunatics.
Two friends visited last week. Having not done so for about a year, we had a lot to catch up on. I told them of my Friday the 13th plan and they promised to attend. But that was just a joke. One said she felt it was too significant day in itself, and being accentuated by the full moon, should not be played with. I said we were not playing. Well then, if we were serious, then she had more reason to stay away as ‘things’ easily happen to her under such potent circumstances. And the conversation went zodiac. Both ladies have the same earth sign and have had very interesting experiences with grounding unwanted energies. One spoke of losing control of her faculties after a strange energy entered her body and felt comfortable enough to want to stay. She told by those who participated in ridding her of the energy that she put up a fierce fight and they had great difficulty subduing her. What she recalls most is losing consciousness and the sheer exhaustion she felt after regaining it.
Some signs, not debarring a person’s level of consciousness, might well be susceptible to these things. One of my older sister’s friends who is the exact sign as the two ladies once recounted an experience that changed her perception about these things. A ceremony was kept at the home where she lived and when the drums started she was suddenly outside of her body looking at her body dance and was powerless to stop it. About two days after she regained bodily consciousness and found herself dressed totally different to what she was accustomed to. She was unaware that she was out of herself for two days, it seemed like a brief moment. (Makes you wonder what time really is). She also discovered that she had built an altar in her bedroom, where, according to her family, she had been frequently praying during the 2-day period. Terribly unusual, if you know her lifestyle. Since then, if she is invited to anything that will have African drumming, she declines. In the one case, there were negative behavioral changes. In the other, positive. One wonders…while the talk therapy professionals convincingly argue that there is no fear necessary as it is just another aspect of the self surfacing for expression and it will eventually retreat, unless it falls in love with its new role and wants to continue playing it.
On the personal side, I remember hearing drums in my sleep. When I awoke I could still hear them. It was after 5am and I got dressed and hit the road. The drums were calling and I felt driven to find them. From the direction of the sound I thought I knew the drummers. There were some elderly men who gathered in the evening and practiced and I presumed that they had they were doing something special this time so they started early. When I got to that location, no one was there. I stood outside the building figuring out what to do next. I had no plan except to sit with the drummers for a while. Now I was a young lady aimlessly walking the streets early in the morning. I decided to return home. The drumming continued. On my way home I met one of the drummers taking his morning stroll. I told him why I was in his area. He laughed and laughed. Then he told me the drums I heard were coming from over the Lady Young Road where they were closing off an Orisha ceremony. I had lived in Belmont then. He concluded that the Ancestors were calling me. Thanks for the call, sorry I could not show up. I have since learnt of the Talking Drums of African and many of the tall and short tales that go with it. Thankfully, none of the drums I have heard over the years ever talked me out of my body.
Anyway, it is almost impossible for three ladies to catch up on each other’s lives without mention of present or potential spouses. Even that went zodiac. The question was: if you have had ten men in your life with whom you have been sexually active (what!) and five of them carry the same zodiac sign, three carry another sign, and two another, have you slept with ten men or three? I think I might have heard of said something about this before. I suggested that it can be viewed as having slept with three, as the principle thing is the type of energy you had an exchange with rather than the vessel in which it is encapsulated. This provoked introspection as to which energy surfaces most in our love lives and the conversation got more and more interesting as we were able to see that in changing mates, in several instances we really didn’t. Same energy.
One of my elderly clients had asked if I felt that men needed more sex than women. Their behavior seems to suggest such. She does not believe that they do, telling me that women are socialized to feel guilty about their sexuality, and this is further compounded by the need to consider pregnancy. So while they might want to be more expressive, women are mentally challenged by imposed concepts and have therefore learnt to be more discriminative. My friends agreed, a burden they feel that menopause relieves. And I was afforded an education on increased libido and how it is like returning to your 20s without many of the hiccups of that period, including the menstrual cycle. Unfortunately, having spent a few decades together and fallen in a certain routine, some **husbands are ill prepared mentally or physically to deal with newly evolved wife. So these women walk around like sexual grenades and younger men pick up their vibes (which has nothing to do with dressing sexy) and confidently zoom in to help them sweat out some of the heat. One lady spoke of a 26 year old new staff on her job whose eyes caught fire the first day they met. He could be her son, yet she finds herself strategizing each day to keep him at bay. He is most respectful and says and does all the right things, but she sees babysitting in the future and does not care for it. More discrimination.
As for the self-condemnation over the number of relationships we have had, we should try to de-objectify sex and we would see that we are having sex all day long with all kinds of people because aura penetrates aura once we are close enough to a person. We are therefore having sex with family members, passengers in taxis, staff in the office, people in the market, etc. We constantly are engaged in the same thing we are refraining from physically. I call it aural sex. Depending on the intensity of the feelings then it is auratic sex. We are so preoccupied with distancing ourselves from promiscuity that we don’t see that sex is not a physical act, but it is our whole life. Who we are and what we do span many levels of reality and therefore remain more complex than our actions and/or reactions or our understanding of such, but we are entitled to whatever belief or behavior that gives us peace of mind on the issue. I saw these words written on a guy’s t-shirt: Eating is not Cheating. Even if he is so convinced, someone has a rebuttal.
One lady spoke of how she is accustomed to the aura/vibes of her on-again off-again spouse, and while other guys look good, she does not get the same feeling in their presence. Having decided that things were over once and for all, they stay apart for months and she was quite fine. Then one night she picked up her phone and called him. Her communication was quite simple: I need a chest to sleep on. And just like that, he was at her door. He asked how she wanted the chest, in jersey or bare? Bare. He granted her wish and she slept soundly. Just having him in her space was all she needed. The next night he was at her door again. Nothing was said. She understood that it was now her turn to grant his wish. She did. And they went separate ways again. While we maintain that the one-man one-wife relationship is the right one, there are endless types of relationships existing in our society as a norm. The individual remains the conflicted one, for if there is a designated right relationship, the others are wrong.
This is very much like the fight against White Supremacy. Other races exist and demand acknowledgement and respect. Why aren’t we acknowledging and respecting other forms of marriage outside monogamy? Like the soul-mates who are espoused, but eke out some time with each other. Given that a marriage is void without consummation, then once we have been sexually involved, however romantic, casual, or accidental, we have been married, and the number of consummated relationships depict the number of marriages we have had. The invisible ones have witnessed our contracts with each other as well as the negating of our duties which are not convenient to fulfill without public outcry. Privacy is an illusion. We are therefore obligated to choosing the type of marriage that best suits us, like we do with our diet, etc. If you are coloured, stop trying to be White. DNA won’t allow it and you will continue to frustrate yourself.
An interesting point that the lady raised is that her on-again off-again spouse is the only one she has been with being born under that particular sign. And the question was: if it is that they clicked so well that they keep moving on only to find themselves back with each other, what prevents them from staying together? For starters, she has to want nothing from him except the sheer beauty of the body that God blessed him with that he has been generous enough to share with her. Many women echo the same thing, complaining of spouses who want to be nurtured unconditionally and indefinitely, and be told nothing of their duties as a man as that could easily trigger a falling out. (We are coming for you wives who don’t have these troubles, and we will scratch your eyes out with our acrylic nails. How dare you have a good relationship?!) Our grandmothers knew that wives are really glorified mothers and they dutifully mothered their spouses, who, like the man in Proverbs 31, got to stand/sit proudly in public with the movers and shakers of society. A good wife continuously promotes and secures her husband’s public image, his pride. Ain’t nothing else to do in this whole wide world. It’s totally biblical. On the other hand, the modern wife keeps losing her cool and telling her husband about playing his part in the relationship. He already is. It’s that of a gloried child. Woman, go read Proverbs 31 and stop nagging me, cause you ain’t start doing your duty yet.
The lady who keeps returning to the ‘bare chest’ for comfort recounted how once things got so silly in the relationship that she had to take her spouse to court for child support. As she was going up the stairs to the family court she saw a frog with it mouth sewn up. She was shocked. Not that she has seen this sight for the first time, but that such still occurs. She knows the old people used to do that, but could not imagine that in these modern times, and in the city, that such still occurs. She offered this scenario as another reason why she would not attend the full moon session as there might be someone present with skewed intentions and everyone else might be innocently lending to their cause while they channel the energy into the efficacy of one of these activities – the sewing up of someone’s mouth via an animal. Interesting. But who said the frog’s condition was preventing a testimony? When one sense goes, another or the others become more sensitive. Is it not possible that the frog was there to ‘see’ someone or ‘hear’ something without the distraction of having to eat or croak?
Coming out of this meeting I saw that there might be a lot more in the mortar than the pestle for many of us and it reduced my expectation that anyone would show up. Our experiences colour our perception and that has to be respected. Which is partly why my mind was nowhere near the moon on Friday, and when the text message came it was so late that I did not feel to open the door and go outside to see it. So I understand why you missed our full moon rendezvous, but we can try for the waning moon. Half a moon is better than none. We don’t need a reason this time, we’re just going to have aural sex. It is an excelling way to support and strengthen each other.
**I was advised by someone who knows that it would be very very helpful if men check with their Doctors not only for prostate examinations, but also their testosterone level. The hormone can be had via prescription and used to help mature husbands meet the expectations of wives who are experiencing a surge in ‘creative’ energy.