One of the things we are admonished to stay away from during a massage is conversation about religion. I keep breaking that rule because my clients have varying degrees of religiosity and some feel the need to impose their beliefs on me or provoke answers from me regarding my religious stand. One such conversation was timely ended when my client jumped out of bed to empty his bladder and returned with no memory of what we were talking about. Or so it seemed. We need gatekeepers, so someone has to hold the hard lines of right and wrong. My palms sweat a lot and can’t manage a firm grip for long, which explains why I am not one of them. Hence I get to be silly about everything. My client spent half his life falling over every precipice while walking the middle line because he is an alcoholic. A few near-death experiences were not enough to rein him in, but a recent stroke did. Now he lies in bed looking up at me and realizes why he is still alive: to share the God he lost and found a few times with me. I do wonder at such a God. Sounds like a kerchief or car keys that keep getting misplaced.

There was salvation in his stroke, and in my terrible use of analogy I mentioned that it was the ‘big bang’ of his life. Big bang repulsed him and he got more religious on me. I honestly wasn’t even thinking about evolution. Let’s stroll back to that concept of darkness in the beginning, pause, then move forward to the command for light. Then rewind and do that again. We have (at least) three, not two, things happening there. There is a concept that the universe is made up of five elements and all things, whether animate or inanimate, consist of these elements in varying proportions. Further, the proportions and elements undergo constant change over time. Hence, everything in the universe, whether at the atom level or the largest, animate or inanimate, is experiencing constant change. Changes were taking place in the darkness so light would have eventually come. But for the sake of argument let’s say darkness meant stillness, when the command for light came, change had to occur. This change occurred over a period of time, whether a millisecond or a million years. Remember our day is in no way comparable to the day on record. So the pause between darkness and light was change.

There is a natural law that says primal energy becomes its opposite on reaching its climax. (Does this validate homosexuality, and should the rest of us hold off our climax?) The change that was occurring in darkness gained momentum until it climaxed (big bang), then oops!, darkness became its opposite. Civilizations have been rising and falling because of the ongoing change that keeps bringing things to a climax. We can therefore understand the need for moderation if we are to have longevity, but there will always those among us who are eager to preempt our trip to the next existence. Imagine the disappointment of those who died and awoke to this existence having thought themselves destined to be for Heaven. Let’s take our time and get there…wherever.

Some appreciation has to be expressed for the reminder that we shall always have the poor with us. Poor on all levels, for even poverty is made up of specific proportions of elements combined, and once we get the equation right, we’ll have it. Not that we have to try. That seems to be the easiest equation to stumble upon. If it is that our present state reflects what’s going on inside us, one would think that there would be many school dedicated to teaching us how to balance the elements within us to facilitate the maintenance of general wealth in our lives, rather than the pursuit of academic achievements which only mimic intellectual wealth. Oh, the schools exist, but they are not accessible to the masses; either because the masses cannot appreciate such, or because we are not trying for another Atlantis. So we masses continue to feel insecure with our accomplishments because we know deep down inside that what we have could be easily lost because it is not us. It is not the composition of the elements in us that generated what we have, but rather, in a bid to save face, we were forced to buy the elements in various proportions and set them up around us so that people could feel we have arrived. A sad bunch we are.

But who said poverty is all bad? It provides us with our first real appreciation for the vastness of the cathedral we’re in with its blue ceiling. And we realize that we always have money and food, it’s just that someone else is holding it for us, but we don’t know who exactly, so we have to keep asking everyone who passes by until the right person hands over the goods. A few persons made reference to my experiences riding the garbage truck. Update… They changed the contractor and the drivers of the new trucks aren’t as friendly. Or, maybe I no longer carry the elements within in the exact proportions that would attract a garbage truck ride. I dare say my free spirit would not be limited to a particular type of ride. No ambiguity there, please. The fancy cars are preferred, but different works too. A few days ago I was on the highway looking stranded, I guess, when a Hilux pulled up and I got in. The driver filled the time talking of marking CXC papers with another Teacher of whom I reminded him. It was a blue vehicle, but not the one that was involved in the recent Police exercise, so I don’t expect to be called in for questioning. But ah wonda…whatever happen to de Matrix? Teachers ain’t driving dem no moh?

So in reality I own many different vehicles, but you don’t see them parked at my home because I have entrusted them to other folks, and I don’t always remember who I left what with, so if you see me by the roadside flagging a vehicle and you know you’re driving one of mine, please pull over. We have to learn to trust people with our stuff. Better so, for the mishandling of our resources is in itself a command that propels our stewardship of wealth to a climax that ensures its opposite. But despite the heartache this brings, it is a fact that this too shall pass, unless it’s a Divine Decree. In our journey through any form of poverty we experience light, and we see how we maneuvered ourselves into the current position, and we make solemn oaths to do better if given another chance. Then we bounce back, and fall off the other edge because of hoarding. Moderation. Give us this day our daily bread sounds very much like don’t feed me too much less I forget Thee, and don’t feed me too little less I curse Thee. Give me sufficient so that I walk in awareness…awareness that even as the elements are embedded in everything, so too are the natural laws, and while my prayer for relief from my poverty could bring me mercy, I have an obligation to see how my thoughts or lifestyle is propelling me towards a big bang.

One of the things my client found irritating was my point that everything being engulfed in darkness in the beginning meant everything was encapsulated in female/yin energy. Dark is feminine. Of course, I had no Scripture to back that up. Anyway, the creation story says that at some point there was a Herstory not History because matriarchal rule was the norm. And, if the time from beginning to the big bang was longer than the time from light to now, then that would explain why our male folks are still trying to get it right. We need to give them more time. Meanwhile we will continue to show competence and efficiency in the menial roles which they fuss about allotting us, and lend our support to every man who makes an attempt at leadership for we’ve been there and know what it takes to acquire and maintain such status. This is not the conversation you hope to hear during massage therapy when your sister (yin) is paying for the massages and your wife (more yin), who should stay bound to your side because your marriage is legal, is off somewhere with much of the resources you created together. She’s keeping them safe by encapsulating them, like she did in the beginning before your light entered her life. So yes, the man needed to pee, and I let him. On his return we spoke of rum and whiskey. I wanted to know why he drank them. He said it is not something he thought of. I told him to think a little harder and he might come up with something. Then he said it was the bite. Really? Couldn’t that have been arranged with the neighbour’s dog? Why spend much money and good relationships on bite after bite? So in the beginning it was what God said, but by the end of the massage he was so invigorated by memories of the bite that he did not think to quote one Scripture that advises to refrain from alcohol.

I was itching to write about the feedback I got from the last email, but this train of thoughts took over and led me here. I will try to stay on course, but I just want to say that all the responses I got in support of the couples’ workshop were from bespectacled intellectual ladies who speak in soft girlish tones. Hmmm. Getting back to our present state being a reflection of our inner journey, this might explain the success, or lack of it, in our business ventures. Keeping up with the Jones’ is not for us. We have to do our introspection, and understand what resonates with us and market ourselves accordingly. Outcalls are my thing. No matter how much space is available at my location, I keep finding myself in other people’s homes or hotel rooms. The elements within me are arranged for that. They are also arranged for is crystals. Some exquisite pieces  have graced my aura without me visiting to a gem store. This week I got a call from a guy who had a guest he wanted me to massage. The guest checked out of his hotel, and on his way to the airport stopped for his massage. He’s from Pakistan and had something to do with the young lady who is promoting education for girls/women. While massaging his hand I observed that the stone in the ring he wore looked like a star blue sapphire. I asked what’s the name of it. He said he did not know. I told him I liked it. He said: I like you. Then he raised his chin and said: kish. I told him I did not understand. He said: keese. I asked where. He touched his lips with his finger, then touched his groin. Here…and here, he said. Should I be concerned that I am carrying elements in proportions that attract kissing?