Someone asked what I think about homosexuality. My thoughts are all over the place. There was a time when gay meant happy, now it refers to a sexual orientation. There was a time when Scorpio was a fire sign, now it is a water sign. So it was once masculine, but now it is feminine. Do we consider that male and female partners from two water signs as two females making love, or a male and female from two fire signs as two males making love? If in the beginning spirit moved on the face of the earth before physical movement occurred, should homosexuality be considered first in the subtle spheres before we attempt understanding it in our bodies? So thoughts on the matter can’t simply be placed in brackets of right and wrong on the basis of our convenient eagerness to endorse our particular indoctrination. There are writings of Jesus having some kind of sperms pact, or initiation with His disciples which may have proper justification, but from where we stand today it’s suspect…profane. Down is down today and tomorrow down is up, and this is by no means limited to sexual matters. Somewhere in the wider spectrum of things it serves some purpose to keep mixing things up and we can resist the change, or call it the new truth.
There was a time when salvation was known to be through a woman and temple priestesses were the in thing. You did not need to believe in their religion to participate in their activities and it was quiet a help to society. Then it was decided that the temple is not brick and mortar, but our physical bodies and that confused things a bit. Where are men to now take their projections? Sure, wives were always there, but the priestesses knew how to spiritualize the act to allow for great satisfaction and facilitate that momentarily death that is experienced with a climax. Wives were to maintain some degree of chastity and follow the cluelessness of their husbands then whisper of the greatness of the experience behind their veils. Further still, with the temples disbanded it was decided to exalt the feminine energy and it was called the Holy Spirit. So the Godhead had a clear very masculine Father and Son, and an ambiguous Holy Spirit to veil her sexuality…maybe.
But creative energy is sexual. We’re just made at it not being tangible because we would really like to lay our hands on her. And while truth continues to change hue, stories are told for those who can recognize that they are being given the nod to access the priestesses who now roam the streets for lack of a proper temple. So we have tales like Rapunzel (the rapture embodied in woman) whose abode is on high and the dear lad who has access to everything below cannot be satiated unless he is up there in/with her. And Jacob’s ladder takes the form of her long plait that she extends to him and he climbs to his climax and abides in that high state for a time before his dismount to the mundane. Maybe hence the saying that an unmarried person is like a bird with one wing for we need constant yin/yang blend to get thing up and flying. Knowing this we should stop working overtime to ensure the populace feels guilty about their sexuality.
There was also a time when long hair represented virginity. So, no matter how many times the lad, or others climb the tower walls, the experience at the top there is always new. The lady remains a perpetual virgin and he must court her every time if she is to facilitate his rapture. The story plays more on the psyche because we have defined the man as the giver and the woman the receiver, and over time we decided that since he was responsible for providing, the man was superior. Many things are connected with this concept which has extensive consequences that permeate our culture to the point that the status of women has been accepted as second to men. Not only men, even women accept this position. But we are complementary, interdependent, two sides of the same coin so it is impossible for receiving to be inferior to giving, or vice versa. Both are first in their respective places. The masculine principle has a wandering effect, no interest in settling down, he comes and goes, earns and spends. Because of his need to work with the feminine his meanderings are pegged to her, for she needs a stable place to live in. She stops his erosion by holding the soil long enough for roots to grow in it. She saves what he earns or gathers so he has to build his world around her. It would be senseless not to. But when what she does in infected by a sense of inferiority his life turns to crap, he can no longer climb the heights he experienced. Keeping the harmony means keeping the focus on complementary.
Okay, I’m going back to where I started, and I wonder, when we are looking at homo-sexuality, could we also consider the parent/child sexual relations as being homo…of the same kind? Maybe. Yet it is not as demonized maybe because it is more perpetuated with opposite sex, mother and son, father and daughter, etc. I have met one man who had a sexual relationship with his father. He by no means considered himself homosexual. And when I later met his father, the man was your regular 100% male man. Who’s fooling who? Does it matter, once we feel our homophobic corners are not being threatened? And while anxiety over the possible contamination of our loved ones or future generation grips us, the Holy Spirit continues to move over the face of the earth/flesh, providing opportunity for the individual process of salvation, thus invalidating our fears because there is hope that the latter state of that person will be better than the former in time. It did not happen overnight for Jesus. He had to spend quality time exorcising His own demons, then one day He was able to confidently say: the Prince of this World cometh and findeth nothing in Me. Capitalizing on that example we need to focus on self-purification so that we need not scramble to prop up our defenses. The threats will come, to pass, having found no resonance within us.
There is a young lady for whom therapy was recently sought – not from me – in an attempt to get her to open up about an experience on her job that triggered her violent reaction and what seems like continued hatred for all and sundry at her workplace. They seem to be making progress. As I understand it, there was a point during her mother’s illness when she was still young that her step father decided to substitute her when her mother was too weak to perform her sexual duties. Apparently this went from infrequent to being the norm then to her being wholly at his disposal after her mother died. It was during the funeral that someone made reference to her situation and this information was passed on to another relative who promptly move her out the house. She went into bouts of silence and aggression. There are different forms of addiction and if we are gonna take sweets from a child, we have to ensure that the replacement is just as tasty.
Rightfully, it is labeled abuse, but we’d be presumptuous to declare it any more abusive than what some legal wives are experiencing. She was young when it started and went into adulthood with it, but the argument is maintained that she was not mentally developed enough to choose. Anyway, whatever has happened on her job has triggered the same reaction from back then. She works at a hotel and it had something to do with a guest. It is speculated that they had sexual relations. Whatever her stepfather did to her happened over such an extend period that somewhere in there must have been at least five seconds of affection which was preferred to the asexual life relatives seem to think she should be resigned to. And here again with the guest, maybe she felt some streak of love and it was snatched away by some nosey staff. It was one time too much. Now therapy is being used to rein her back in. I wonder…should the abled always have the last say in the lives of the differently abled?
And, Mr. Uninterested. Did my last session with his last week and was sharing the experience with the class. While massaging him the week before he began making circles with is index finger. I asked if he was exercising his hand. He did not respond. When I first start treating him he used to behave disoriented and the general impression was that he had Alzheimer’s. The massages would be done in the living room and he’d be wearing his t-shirt and pamper and his wife would be at the dining table preparing her vegetables for lunch since it was usually mid-morning. Then one day she said he did not feel to come out of bed. So the massage moved to the bedroom, and stayed…out of her sight. Now on the last day when I got to the room he was in his pamper but it was not properly pulled up. His wife said she just got him to change into a fresh one, and since she does not assist in these matters, the extent to which he was able to get into it left his butt hanging out. I completed the job.
As soon as I started he told me I was a hypocrite. I was taken aback. From little or no speech to accusation. He said everyone thinks he is senile but he is more sane than all of us. For that matter, he was the one who is well while we are sick. I asked for an explanation of my hypocrisy and he said I was not a therapist, but a torturer. Which is sick indeed. Said I have been torturing him all this time and he just lies there watching me knowing that I knew fully well that I was arousing him. What?! Did I mention he is in his 80s? I could only laugh so much, so I settled down to the massage. Began with his chest and he started twirling his finger again. I ignored him. He said ‘what must be done must be done, get to it.’ It what? He said I knew. When I was finished with his chest I reached for his arm. He said: No, lower. Lower? Well he did have some digestive problems and his wife and son had suggested that I avoid that area. He insisted lower. So I did his abdomen. Having finished I once again reached for his arm. He said: lower. I told him if I went any lower I would be doing the limbo and I have never done that. He said: I will teach you.
Another able-bodied mature client was telling me a story… Having passed to go to college, and it being too far from home, he had to stay with a family in walking distance from school. Over time he got used to the children in that neighborhood and one day one of the young ladies disappeared. When he inquired he learnt that she was ill and hospitalized. He was not close enough to that family to justify going to visit her. Eventually she returned home, but was different. When the grapevine was checked they found word that she wanted to remain longer in the hospital and was home grudgingly. The vine was pulled a bit more and there was a whole story of how a male Nurse or Warden had exposed her to ‘sucking’ and it was an incentive well worth staying in hospital. My client, who brags about spending much time under trees kissing convent girls, was eager to learn of how sucking was done. Well the storyteller told him that the man had sucked her with a straw. He could not figure how to add this to his routine so he left it alone.
After college he migrated to the USA and had an older girlfriend with no inhibitions, especially when she was drunk, and he learnt pretty quickly that there ain’t no straw involved in the process. His concern was that for all his attempts he did not have the desired effect on her. She would lay still. One day he decided to that he will stick with it until she reacted. Mission accomplished, he went on to be called an expert. In the same breath he mentioned that I worked so hard it would be good for me to relax and be taken care of, and he knew someone who could help. He suggested we have an extended one-night stand, but there would be no fear of him touching me. He’d invite this friend as a gift to me and she would make love to me while he makes love to her. Then he wanted me to indulge him by saying some of the things I’d like her to do to me. So we are back at homosexuality with a heterosexual twist. I told him it is the thought that counts, and I appreciate that he took the time to consider helping me unwind, but he could save the effort to make tangible arrangements.