Having New Year’s resolution conversations again. As I worked with one of my clients, a Nurse entered the room to feed another resident pureed food. It didn’t take long for her to enquire about benefiting from my services. She felt relax just watching me perform the massage and concluded that she must be very stressed to have such a significant physical response from merely looking on. Given time she volunteered some of the reasons for her distress. One really touched my core. She lost her daughter a few month ago…shortly after childbirth. The child was born with her spinal cord outside the spinal column and only lived a few days. She packed so much quality time into those few days that after the baby transitioned the void she felt seemed bottomless. She hopes 2017 offers another opportunity to be a mother. After I had finished the massage and washed my hands I returned to the room, to her side, and asked if I could hug her. We had never conversed before, but I felt I could not leave without that hug. She permitted me. I leaned over and hugged her. And she burst into tears. I didn’t see that coming.
Met another young lady. After our first conversation, during which she sought to impress her sainthood upon me, she asked what I might know about remedial treatment for ‘fallopian tubes’. I was puzzled. I had no idea that was a condition. I listened further and understood that someone had pronounced hers ‘blocked’ and she wants it cleared pronto. I tried to paint a picture for her that had the fallopian tubes as a normal part of the female reproductive system and the blockage as the abnormal occurrence. She agreed that that was it. Very well. I then promised to do some research.
Then next time we met I thought the results of my research would be high on the agenda, but she seemed to have forgotten about that. She was more comfortable and casual conversation abounded. I learnt that she too does massages…whole day, in an environment where envy rules. But she cares not. She works hard…at her appearance too…and her massages are liked. She ensures that her facials and mani/pedi are always up to scratch. Several clients particularly like her feet and are allowed to massage them. Ever so often a skilled therapist passes through and they would have exchange sessions. The therapist pays for his at the front desk. The reciprocation is a matter between them. She often falls asleep if the therapist is really good. And the last one was. He offered advice for improvements to her techniques which she found useful.
It was about our third meeting that the baby talk came again. Not wanting her breasts to droop, she did not breastfeed the child she got some years ago. For the record, breastfeeding does not cause drooping. The hormones do the alterations, along with genes, and gravity. There are women who breastfed and still have cute breasts, and there are cute women without children who have drooping breasts. Anyway, she has a second lease on life having met a ‘White Guy’ who dotes over her. She said: I like them White…and married. According to her, marriage gets tiresome after one year. A lesson she learnt during her marriage to the non-white father of her child. No point in learning that lesson twice. And, having experienced that goodness of this guy, skirting her off to places East and North, she has deep desires to please him. For example, for him she has tried to ‘keep up’ her ‘colour’ through use of whitening creams, staying in A/C environments, wearing long sleeves, carrying an umbrella, etc.
And this love between them has been consummated so many times that it now begs for physical manifestation. Thoughts of motherhood are practically hounding her. She desperately wants to give him the gift of a child come 2017. But these guys do vasectomy at the drop of a hat, so I did wondered if he might have done so and forgot to disclose such all this time that she’s running around listening to bad news about her infertility. I asked why she felt her tubes were blocked and was told that a consultation was done with a specialist who advised that her history with STIs and abortions caused a buildup of scar tissue in the tubes. The halo she came into the first conversation with started to slide off her head.
Well, it’s not 2017 yet, but it is my birth month, and while women are trying to be mothers, I simply tried for a date. Uh-huh. With a guy who knows little of this country, so he went online to select a venue for our meeting. He thought some local flavor would be good and when it was all arranged I learnt that we were to visit the a Kaiso place I never knew existed, with the intent to listen to Kaiso. In hindsight, a wrap would have worked, but I opted for a maxi halter back dress. I had already indicated that I did not intend to dance. He seemed like the kind of guy who knew just how to rub a woman’s back, but I did not tell him that, but greater than that was my concern that he might be grinding on my pelvis in the name of dancing. That is not dancing.
So off we went. When we got there we were promptly advised that due to there being a guest artist, the tickets were sold out. Nice! We lingered in hope of hearing better news. I was asked to leave my name and number in case there are some cancellations. Fine. Off again we went. To get something to eat. I was always curious about that diner place upstairs on the avenue and was indulged. Honestly, I can’t recall what he ordered, but I got the Chicken Alfredo pasta without the chicken. And just as I was getting into it, the phone rang. Two ticket available. I asked for my dinner to be packaged, and off we scooted to secure those tickets.
The path reminded me of Alice in Wonderland. Down a path to a place at the back of the place that I thought was the place. It was crowded in there. No seat available. I smiled sweetly and adapted that romantic posture where the woman stands with her back to her man like they so want to be close they don’t care to sit. Actually, I thought it was in bad taste that there were more tickets than seats. Anyway, the dear lady was already up on stage singing her heart out. And the whole time she sang, I kept waiting for the Kaiso. It was R&B in a Kaiso House.
One of the ticket ladies soon entered and my date enquired about seating. She advised that we could have two folding chairs, but would have to find space to open them. He went for the chairs, I waltz around looking for space. I was in an odd corner when he returned and thinking I was in the desired spot, he came over with the chairs. So we had to make it work. We found ourselves in a rather intimate corner…up under a speaker box near the wall and well cramped in by the taller tables and chairs. Hmmm. I couldn’t even stretch out my leg. So once more, circumstance dictated that we look rather romantic there in the dimness seated very close. No view of the artist from there, we just had to listen.
Intermission came and we decided that standing near the door was a better shot. We relocated. Minutes into accepting our new position, a lady came over to say herself and partner were leaving and that we could have their seats. Thanks! By the time we crossed the floor the seats were taken. Her partner, unaware of her intentions, had offered the seats to others. We collected our chairs and placed them by the door and spent the rest of the night there. There was some foot-tapping and leaning over to say a word or two and shifting for others to pass and watching folk whose bodies danced without their feet moving, and that kinda thing.
I needed to retune my hearing when I got out of there, and also finish my dinner before it was totally cold. Off the savannah we went. Car doors open, regular unconditioned air blowing, I was finally able to breathe easy and talk. What’s the point to a date that ends without proper conversation? And we talked up a storm, almost as long as the Kaiso that wasn’t. Not sure how it got started, but I recall saying that the folks who made statements like: out of evil cometh good; out of chaos…order; out of weakness…strength; out of darkness…light, etc. must have been onto something. He said: In the Beginning was God, and God IS…Light. Where/why was there darkness and chaos? Good question. We can explore that. For starters, God IS…an infinite number of things. To say He is Light, full stop, is rather limiting. And there was a moment where he opined that light more readily creates darkness than the reverse, good people are better at evil than the evil at good, Adam and strong-man Sampson went from strength to weakness…and chaos is not chaos in itself, but might more be circumstances unintended for man. Like the jungle is chaotic until we learn to use our navigation tools, but to the creatures that live there, there is perfect order.
Nice. I guess we could say it’s back at perception. Maybe we should settle for the idea of sight. Sight is considered the perception of objects in the environment by means of the light that they emit or reflect. And as regards humans, we are considered to have limited vision to those wavelengths between ultra violet and infrared radiation. So again I say, the persons making statements of out of evil cometh good, etc. did not function exclusively by science’s definition of sight. For starters, they must have had access to wavelengths beyond the acceptable range and were therefore able to see what is considered to be ‘outside’ of their environment. But with the subjectivity that exists with that kind of seeing, whatever is outside is also inside, hence all that is seen is within their environment. This allowed nothing to be impossible for them.
He got me, but having had his own challenges with physical sight, he took me back to science on the matter. Science says that our vision is necessarily limited in order to produce a physiological response. If there is no photochemical reaction we see nothing. Really? Oh, sorry. Continue. For this reaction to occur an electron has to absorb a photon of light which causes a boost to a higher energy level around its nucleus and possible transference to another atom. This movement of the electron from one atom to another is the chemical reaction that results in us seeing a thing. Ultra violet radiation has too much energy for the biochemical processes of vision, while the infrared has too little. Accepted. But don’t forget, we have a spark of the Divine in us. So the guy who can see light coming out of darkness is experiencing more than the biochemical process. Because he sees it, he could believe it, and of that belief he is so certain that it affects his physical reality. And he knows also that it is pointless to convince you otherwise. So if you try to argue with him, you’d likely get an assertive statement, silence, or a smile.
Which reminds me of the concept that light is, or derived from, fire. The active fire is light, and the inactive fire is darkness…so that after the fire is put out it still exists, but at a radiation that the normal wavelengths cannot detect and is therefore considered dark or not there; so that in the Beginning the darkness that we are told existed was a deliberate directing of our attention to other side of the light of fire. You’re saying that this personal experience of seeing beyond the normal wavelengths justifies extreme concepts like these because all things are possible to those who can practice this kind of seeing, while the persons lacking similar vision continue to have a long list of impossibilities? Intelligent fellow. Made me almost regret not having my back rubbed. Will make it a 2017 resolution.