Namaste

The recent advertisement I posted for massage classes yielded some interesting conversations. One being…

Hi. Just asking do massage therapist get pay good. how much do they get a hour. was always inquisitive about it because a always wanted to do it but didnt know if it would b a good career for me. can u telk me please? Thanks.

Me: I suggest you look at web pages of various spas and compare prices and determine what you could charge once you venture into private practice. Massage therapy is a tool for healing. It is for you to decide to embrace and use this tool. All effort is rewarded, so compensation is never in question.

Ok. A watch alot of videos on youtube with it a see they have it frequent over there. What i am tryin to ask is is there always work would u b able after the course to get hire/work in a spa down here. When a say over there a mean in a america d spa industry is huge. Down here is like so so ent.

Me: You can do massage in the Sahara Desert if you decide to. Decide.

(One emoji looked shocked. One emoji laughing with tears.) Erotic massages i am into.

I felt no desire to continue. From the name used to the profile picture, the person appears to be male. For a moment I thought of a client who (may recognize himself and never visit me again if he reads this) recounted an elaborate story to me. The brief version is that he had a male therapist who was very good at relieving his pain, and just as well in improving blood circulation. A decent amount of time was spent working the groin. The first time he mentioned it he was lying prone. No eye contact being made in the moment. Probably testing me out. I told him that was great and when I did have him supine, I worked the inguinal nodes and ligament. On the next visit I decided he should be supine first. I got through the front of the body and asked him to turn over when he hesitated and asked if I could work the inguinal area like the last time. Sure. When I was through he hesitated again. I inquired. He advised that the male therapist had held his penis and massaged it vigorously in order to improve blood circulation. He was willing to pay me extra to be afforded such.

I paused. There was an urge to laugh. It was controlled and I told him: let’s have a look. I pulled the drape down to his leg, exposing his nudity. He had an erection. I think you are fine. I began pulling the drape up. He stopped me and held his penis with one hand and used the fingers of the other to demonstrate how the therapist had stimulated blood flow. Alrightie! I asked if he could wish the erection away. What? Could you mentally will it to go down. Yeah, but it will take time. Good! That means all is well. Your circulatory system is functioning perfectly. Blood arrived in penis and stayed because the valves in the veins are really good at their job. I’m sure you will make some woman very happy. I covered him and said: please turn over. The rest of the time was spent with him back peddling. Listen, I’ve seen folk at darts practice. A few players can walk in and hit the bullseye. Everyone else, be soft on yourself. God alone knows why he felt he could catch me on the second try. But I would still give him A for effort. Some clients just think what he talked. So yes, that’s what I remembered, male therapist handling my client’s penis as only a man could. And I wonder about this young man who does erotic massages. Did a part of me know something was off and opted for not encouraging him to join the class? I have records of being way more optimistic with potential students.

Maybe I am getting old and homophobic. Nah! I am perfectly fine with homosexuality. Only recently I was talking about it with an old friend and we had the same view. Being… Homosexuality is one of nature’s ways of engaging population control. People of the same sex can have great chemistry with each other and enjoy the various benefits of companionship, minus offspring. Sure, they can adopt, but they can wind from now ‘til neverery and there will be no oops! moment. No need of morning after pill. Kudos to all the male therapists who are going the extra mile to ensure that their male clients, who require optimal function from their testicular arteries, are achieving such…even as the female therapists continue to be badmouthed for maintaining the trophy on that…because there is always a real need for such help. Sportsmen who experience pain due to tension in the psoas or groin strain should have reasonable concern as to how this can affect their sex life (if the pain causes periodic erectile dysfunction) as the testicular arteries run this path. But as I explained to my client, being able to get an erection is evidence that the blood flow was unobstructed, and having sustained it confirmed he can run along and play. It takes a certain kind of man to be cool with another man massaging his penis. He never volunteered why he now required the service from a female therapist given the one he got from the male therapist was thorough.

Boxing Day I got a Whatsapp message wishing me belated Christmas. I responded accordingly. Had a nap and awoke to several messages from the same number. Person has two little girls as their profile picture and I presumed it was a female. The message indicated that they will make effort to come for a massage soon. Followed by one asking if I would massage the penis as he had erectile dysfunction. I said if I get a letter from his urologist explaining how massage can help. He then explained (suggesting no need for the urologist’s input) that he had surgery for sciatica and erectile dysfunction was the result. I didn’t respond. It is very possible, that if he had a decent conversation with a massage therapist prior to surgery, he would have been making a more informed decision about surgery. No, but we don’t know squat. We are massage girls, and boys dangling from the trapeze in your circus all eager to tickle your fancy. We’re skilled, so we can do that too. But maybe it is time to pledge to support the neighbourhood therapist. A few hundred dollars per session may save you thousands in the long run. Or learn from Youtube, like the erotic massage guy…who may well be in service to the sisterhood. Me, I watch TV, and whenever a penis was held with care in the professional space there was always a surgical blade nearby on Grey’s Anatomy. So when you come with or without that letter from the urologist or neurologist, ensure you observe my therapy room carefully before you ask me to hold your penis.